Would you like a dog with that house?

Thinking more on the dog limit issue, I've realized that one logical step to take past the limit would be to require everyone to have one dog. In this way, the dogs would be spaced out evenly, and no one could complain because all would be guilty. If one dog barks at a siren, all the dogs will howl across the entire city in waves, and it will be hard to tell where it begins and ends.

I say this after showing property in Alta Loma and discovering that all the neighbors had one dog, all of whom gathered behind his or her fence to bark at us. No one could say that anyone in particular was guilty of lowering property values (one of the worries expressed by the apparently lone Citizen for Companion Animal Limits), so I can only imagine that having one dog in each yard would force people to concentrate on other issues, such as whether or not the kids at the closest school require a police presence at dismissal time.

In fact, when escrow closes, the pound should show up at the door with a free puppy as a house-warming gift. What parent could say "no" in front of their delighted children? Just so long as animal control finds out ahead of time that the buyers don't already have a dog (which should have had a license application made out long before, along with photo, microchip number, and pawprint checked against a centralized dog bureau of investigation list for a past history of unscooped poop and raucous siren howling.)